Mini Golf and Dick

   It has recently come to my attention that high school never ends...I know, I'm the first to ever realize this and You're all so thankful and better people for knowing this...you're welcome.
   I am twenty six years old....Twenty-Fucking-Six! I havn't heard this much gossip since everyone though Jacob Watkins was doing steroids senior year! I know everyone thinks I'm a homewrecker and a liar and a cheater. I dabbled in being an asshole for a very short period after my divorce and you know what? Wasn't for me...like mini golf and dick.
   You know what I'm all about? Stability. I would love to run around and put my business inside anything with two legs and half a brain, or put so much powder up my nose I look like Santa Clause. I would love it for about five goddamn seconds until my dick fell off and my brain started bleeding.
   We all gotta grow up. It sucks. Money is tight and love is hard to understand but you have to be thankful for what you have, as little as it may be. I have a loving family, a hopelessly devoted girlfriend, a few good mates, a guitar and an overwhelming and unflappable sense of humor.
   So from everyone's favorite homewrecking cynic...so long and thanks for all the fish! Cheers!

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So this is really just a trial blog. Never really done these shits before but I kinda figure I always get into a trend right before they fade out. so I'm kinda doing everyone a favor....you're welcome.

Its been a rough couple of weeks. There's been drama and bullshit and all sorts of rediculous shenanigans but I pushed through, as I always do. The old me would have turned to drugs, and I might have except for the fact that I no longer have any idea HOW to buy drugs. So yeah....there's that pickle.

Got a new job, lost fourteen pounds, shaved my mustache and started a blog. Check and check. This is me moving on to bigger and better things...blah fucking blah. I'll be more interesting next time. Cheers...or whatever.